Sunday, April 22, 2018

Dear Kids,
         Last Sunday morning when I wrote my letter, I was all ready to call my doctor about the pain in my side.  When I finally got a a call back, it was his partner, who told me to take miralax and wait it out.  By evening I was totally dehydrated, nauseous, and in terrible pain.  I called my home health nurse, Audrey, and she came and checked me out.  She sent me to the ER in Park City, where they gave me 2 liters of fluid.  Beyond that, they had no idea, so I asked them to transfer me down to LDS hospital (where people really know what they’re doing, unlike Park City.)  At LDS, they started my IV again, and it took a day and a half of constant fluids before I was hydrated again.  They said I had a blockage in my intestines, but they were hoping Mother Nature could solve the problem on her own.  She couldn’t, so Tuesday morning they did a process called “irrigation,” which is just like it sounds.  After that, I started improving fast.  Wednesday afternoon they sent me home again, and I’m here for good, now.
         Since then, I’ve been doing really well.  I’m learning to live with my new “equipment,” but it’s a steep learning curve.  You absolutely don’t want to have an accident!  You need to attach your equipment securely so it doesn’t leak.  You need to get on a regular schedule of eating so you can kind of guess when you’ll have a “dump.”  I know all this is really gross, and I won’t mention it again, but it’s the center of my life now.  The really funny thing is listening to gas gurgling through your guts and whooshing out.  Imagine farting through your belly button, and you sort of get the idea.
         Well, enough of that. 
         I didn’t go to church last Sunday, but I’d heard rumors that there were going to be some changes in the Spanish branch.  I texted a couple of my “hermanas” and asked them to keep me posted.  When their answers came back, I was stunned.  The Spanish branch has been dissolved!  (“dispersed,” one of my hermanas wrote in English.) I can sort of see why–the branch hasn’t grown at all, probably because of immigration enforcement and deportations and e-verify.  There are only 2 or 3 strong families,  and most of the leadership comes from the Caucasians.  Everybody who speaks Spanish has already put in their time.  But still, I’m terribly disappointed.  You can bet there were floods of tears among the Spanish saints.  But onward and upward.  For me, it means back to Francis 2nd ward for my third try at integrating there.
         While I was still in the hospital, I became obsessed with their mac n’ cheese.  It was to die for, and I ordered it every lunch and dinner I could.  Now that I’m home, I’ve been trying to duplicate it, so whenever I’ve had extra energy, I’ve staggered down to the kitchen for another try.  And I’ve finally got it!  (A combination of sharp cheddar, monterey jack, and parmesan). If you want to have the world’s best mac n’ cheese, come and visit, and I’ll make it for you.  It only takes about 10 minutes.
         Life is good again!  I love you all!  Mom